When I first felt your touch
How it made my heart rush
I remember walking in the sand
Holding for the first time your hand
I remember how safe I felt
Having your strong arms around my waist
The complete bliss
Of our first kiss
I smile, remembering my breathless awe
At making love, desire so raw…

I remember hours later at home all alone
of the tears I cried for what I’ve done
The passion, Love, joy, giddy wellness I felt hours before
Was now shame, sadness, hurt which refused to allow the closure of its door
How can something which felt so right
Now feel wrong, seem sick, in the span of a night
I remember scrubbing myself in the shower
Falling to my knees and begging God hour after hour
Please don’t make me gay
Just let me be straight one more day…

I remember the day I accepted I’m queer
I still smile at your happiness and cheer
I remember, who I am really…

Already published: blackandpink.org